In considering the choice of a career, a newspaper correspondent recently suggested the following list of qualities as those of greatest value. He gave them in this order:

    1   Linguistic abilities
    2   Scientific abilities
    3   Mathematical ability
    4   Constructive ability
    5   DexteritIes
    6   Artistic abilities
    7   Executive abilities
    8   Social abilities

To arrange these qualities must surely have taxed the skill even of a “Pools” expert. It may be easier to apply them to the ideal junior we all dream of. Mathematical ability is understandable. Every office has its “Kitty” and, with ever-rising costs, the junior’s task becomes more and more impossible. Has he not met the manager who “has no change” or who “put 1/6d in only three weeks ago”? Having mastered the “Kitty” - if he ever does - he then, if lucky, is promoted to the care of receipt stamps. This calls for more than mere ability: it calls for a deeper, wider knowledge, and not a little philosophy.

Dexterity is just as vital. The Villa delight in bringing Birmingham production to a standstill for their many Wednesday replays. Who has not blessed the lad who, finding that the clock needs rewinding, uses that spark of imagination so necessary but so rare? Not only the clock needs attention, here. What of the home safe which defies every type of key? Or the Celerity Heater (circa 1900) which just refuses to spring a leak?

Artistic ability is almost as important. In our role of advertising everybody from merchant seamen to foster parent, we need a junior with a flair for posterwork. How annoying to find that you are still displaying the Christmas holiday notices with Easter (and the Balance!!!) only three weeks away. Artistry is needed, too, on the books - if only as an introduction to subtle Bank Note production. Taste, too. Everyone knows the boy who insists on bringing “The Times” or “The Telegraph” when all he really wants is the “Daily - ” or the “Weekly - ”. Luckily, he has not - so far - forgotten to post our Friday envelope.

However, there are qualities the writer has overlooked. No junior is worth his handsome salary unless he runs a car - a new car. Cheques to Bank, stationery from Head Office, cash difference to trace, forgotten keys to recover - all these take time. Yes, a car is simply vital. Just as important is the possession of a “Crown and Anchor” board. In the peace and solitude of a Saturday morning in April, what branch has not longed for such an owner? Sporting ability, too, is a “must”. To win the Cricket Championship is quite easy; to ensure adequate reserves for the future is more of a problem.

And yet, what have we? Marmaduke is a grand lad, but lacks determination. He has linguistic ability, but confines them to his many girl friends. Surely our journalist had the greatest of all qualities - optimism!

ANON