Finally for this time, the Raucous-voiced Man who shouted “Miss, WOTARSYERAKTIV.”

Wotarsyeraktiv? Not being able to make anything sensible out of this remark, I remembered a silly question deserves a silly answer, so drew a Bow at Venture, and said “10 till 3 pm today”

“OK, thanks”, he replied.

No one was more astonished than I. Translation of question obviously was “What hours are you active”

I am ringing off now and clearing the junction until a few more “Funnies” are required for another New Letter.

So, goodbye,

Your,

TELEPHONIST-IN-CHARGE.

Often referred to as ‘Old Maggie’.

Ah Well! “A Rose by any other name .... I am told.

______________________________________________________

Dear Colleague,

Firstly, may I say a very sincere “thank you” for the many kind messages by telephone and letters expressing your pleasure and appreciation of my “small effort” in the September News Letter. I am delighted to know you were amused because I feel Mr Harold Turner, our very worthy “originator” of the News Letter will derive much satisfaction also; knowing that it is fulfilling its intended “Function” - even in its infancy, so to speak - and as long as it does not grow to be “L’Enfant Terrible” all will be well!!!

For 21 years many of you have listened to what must sound like my “Escape-me-never-voice” saying “The Manager please. HO here - So and So calling you”. But this time I am calling on my own account; in case you can spare a moment during your very busy days to scan, what I hope will appear to you to be a few humorous lines. So - As the Trunk Operators’ say — Go ahead, you are through — to the first “wee funny”. 

One day answering MID 3722 I was greeted by an extremely cultured male voice - too, too, frightfully “Pukkah-Sahib” don’t-cher-know! Demanding “Who is THET?” I repeated our title. He proceeded - ooooh-AH, listen he-AH! This is Major-General Farquhar-Harkerson speaking to you from SOLLY-HULL. I-EM the Leaser of Box Number so and so in your vaults - Is my wife there? For a few seconds I was convulsed with silent laughter - then managed to murmur - one moment please - and connected the call to the Safe Deposit department - after which I enjoyed a good laugh. Really one would think we specialised in cold storage rather than Banking.

During the “Bad Old Days” of the last War when Wells Green Branch strove valiantly to meet the requirements of the public during the three days they were open each week - one of their customers, evacuated to Leicester, phoned me from Birmingham to lodge a complaint because each week for quite a time apparently he had travelled over to Birmingham, always on one of the “closed” days. I gathered from his approach that he was a “Haymillian HeMAN”. We got under way thus - He - "ah-lo, ah-lo, oo-ah-yer?" Me - "BMB". He - "Ar many mower days ar yow a-goin ter keep that Bloody utt shut at Sheldon? Wot the Ell yow av it foe ar doan know, its no flippin ornament and sairtenly no perishin use. It ain’t never open so as folks can gerr-in - see, cause they’m allus at wairk wen its open. Yow planned that show a fair treat I reckon, an you’d oughter be ashamed on yower self an orle ar’m a tellin yer see, an doan yow forgit it neather. Bringin me all the way over from Leicester each wick an bein evacuated an all, an a-closing a’for I git there”. Praise be! He drew breath - so I apologised for the great inconvenience he had suffered and endeavoured to placate his sorely outraged spirit by suggesting that Pay Bearer or Postal Withdrawal Forms coild be sent to him and so avoid any further delay and annoyance - Of course, he declined to accept either, emphatically pointing out that he wished to do his business “pearse-en-ell, see and no mucking ahhart wi bits o’paper, and let that be very clearly understood, See!!" I did indeed - and how!!! I then tried another tactic and said - "Well then, I’ll put you in touch with the Branch Controller here, I know he will be able to help you". I am sure you’ll agree his reply was truly gorgeous. With very belligerent tone he said “Yow’ll do nuthink o’the kind see - ar’ll keep on a’goin over till ar cop-em-open - an then ar’ll let em ave it good and proper, ar’ be a’tellin yer, see!” And with all the scorn he could muster, and it was a “tidy bit” ar’m tellin yer, he roared “ah ruddy awful con-sairn!" and crashed the receiver on!!! Funny how a call like that creates a demand for a breath of fresh air! The Exchange seemed very airless after he had rung off, but - thanks be, peaceful once more.

Now that Wells Green Branch have changed their address and are temporarily without a telephone, I feel sure my “War-time caller” will feel the urge to phone them to discuss some of his “pearse-en-ell” business, see - Well I ope as I’m orf dooty when he phones here to know why he is once more prevented from doing what he wants to do with this “Rosy Con-sairn” — But no - what a selfish remark. Of course I’ll enjoy the call if it comes. There is no doubt he’ll provide the “Funnies” page with something to laugh about, and that we must have - so -  press on regardless.

A cheery Xmas Greeting to you all, and to those of you who go a’dancing at this Festive Seasson I trust will fair better than the two Butterflies who were refused admittance to the Dance Hall, because it was a “Moth Ball” !!!